Monday, October 5, 2015

Chimera: Class of 666 | 1.4.1 | Part One "Waking Up" | Chapter Four "Truth or Lie?"

Story: Chimera: Class of 666
Part: One "Waking Up"
Chapter: Four "Truth of Lie?"
Authored by: 
Hannah Nyland (The Irreverent Revenant
All Rights Reserved.

Chimera: Class of 666
By Hannah Nyland and Jerad Sayler


“I left out most of the details on my Awakening when you asked before. It seems fair that you get the rest . . . a story for a story.” I force a poorly fitting smile, ignoring the spike of anxiety that I am already beginning to experience. “It’ll probably be a lot shorter than yours. This all ended just a few days ago, so it’s still pretty raw.”
I begin, stumbling over words, barely coherent at first, but picking up momentum. Then my voice becomes flat, eerily detached, as though what I’m describing something that happened to someone else. The longer I talk, the less I sound like myself.
“It started with a dream. I was standing inside a cathedral – I don’t know why, like I said, I’m not especially religious. I guess it was pretty until it started to fall apart. The longer I looked, the less sense anything made. I don’t think I need to go into detail on that. You know the sort of things I mean. I was running towards a piece of paper I could never reach, half dead from exhaustion, but I couldn’t stop. And then I felt them, whispering in my ear. My demons. Inside my head, I shouted at them to stop, but they just laughed. It was the most sickening sounds I’d ever heard in my entire life. The whole thing felt so real.
After I woke up, I wrote it off as a nightmare. Except that it kept happening, over and over again. The worst part was that, after the first time, I went into each dream knowing what was going to happen. I knew it was going to end with me trapped forever with the voices, unable to scream. And I still couldn’t stop myself. I was obsessed; it was haunting me, every minute of every day. There was no escaping from it, no matter where I went or what I did. My anxiety were completely out of control, even more so than I would have expected under the circumstances. I said that I didn’t sleep much. That’s because after about a week of this, I was literally too terrified to. But that didn’t matter for very long, since soon it all started to bleed over into the real world as prolonged sleep deprivation forced the issue.”
Jack… Casstiel smiles at me and accept the comfort. His eyes look old and tired, the bruised-looking bags stand out under his eyes. We are connected in our shared trauma.  So I continue.
 “For the next few weeks, I existed in a haze of paranoia. I didn’t talk to anyone when I could avoid it, because half the time, I’d end up speaking with a demon instead. They knew the exact words to say that would cut the deepest. The entire world’s judgment was crushing me under its weight, but theirs was the worst.”
“So, it went on like that until a few days ago, during finals. My math exam was in my hands, and then out of nowhere I was in the dream again, but it was different. I could see the place for what it was - the tower. And for once, the demons were blissfully silent. The paper I had spent eternities chasing was there, right in front of me. So I signed it, and it was over.”  Haven spoken more words than I have in weeks, I slump back on the couch, blank-faced.
 Casstiel takes in the finer details as I finish my experience and looks a little surprised.  “Wow, that is awful. I feel like mine was a bit more raw and direct but yours actually affected the world around you.  They call that a mystery play.  Nasty… more… insidious.” He shakes his head in wonder and then leans in to speak more directly to me.
“Sky, it sounds stupid but I think you are way too young to have gone through something like this this. Then again, no one normal should have to deal with this kind of thing.  You are one tough cookie.”  He smiles and leans back.
 “The only silver lining I have for you is that you awakening younger means you have a longer potential lifespan to advance your studies in the mysteries.  You accepted the Supernal pact with your watchtower and now you are part of this new world. There is good in it, and small wonders that can make the trip worth it.”
A flicker of emotion returns to my face. Pain, distress, relief - I’m not even sure what I’m feeling anymore. Everything is mixed up in the exhaustion, which suddenly weighs heavily on me. It’s been a confusing day. But at least I’m not alone anymore. Not alone. I keep repeating that to myself. It helps… a little.
 “Most importantly,” he continues, “you have a responsibility to use your powers wisely, and for the greater good. To learn and to explore free will and the lessons of the Supernal. Everything we do ripples through the fallen world, we can do great and terrible things.”
I straighten up slowly and take another sip of my drink. It’s cooled off by this point, but I don’t really notice. “You know, you almost make it sound kind of fun, being a mage.” I pause in thought. “Aside from the many things that want to kill me. There’s that.” The flat edge is gone from my voice, replaced with tiredness.

He nods to be assuring. “Yes, it is fun sometimes, sometimes scary, but all life changing. I wouldn’t change my life for anything. This is right where I am meant to be, and right where I want to be… now all I have to do is survive it.” The corner of his mouth quirks into that trademarked smirk.
Casstiel yawns and glances at his phone “it’s getting late. Are you going to be okay for a week? Is there anything you think we need to do to get you through?”
 I think on it for a minute.  I’m feeling a bit stronger emotionally. Empathy. Understanding.  Validation.  I am not crazy, or at least, if I am then the entire world is.  And I passed.  I’ve survived this long…
“A week will be okay.” I say. A long time to wait. “But… something to focus on would help. You told me to practice Sights, so I’ve got that. And I think I need something to explain my behavior to my parents. But that’s my problem.” Briefly, sadness slips across my face, then the façade is up again. “I can contact you if things get out of hand-”
  Casstiel interrupts me. “No. Stop right there. It is not just your problem. If you are to be my apprentice, at least after a fashion, your problems are my problems now.” He looks up and meets my eyes. “Okay?”
Caught completely off my guard, I gaze back with a look of pure, unfiltered surprise. I think for a split second that I am about to argue, but instead stop myself at the last second. “Okay.” Acceptance.
 “Good.” He nods with finality. He thinks, tapping his finger on his chin for a moment and then quirks the corner of his mouth up. “You know, you aren’t the first student to have a meltdown during finals week. It can be a lot of pressure. Do you think you can analyze the stressors you had before reality started flipping upside down? Perhaps you could explain them to your folks through the lens of someone who bottles all these issues up and never vents them. You could play it any number of ways but remember the cardinal rules for lies. Make it sound plausible by mixing in as much truth as possible, repeat the same message without fail, and if someone digs in deny deny deny.” He wags my finger.
I snort, thinking on it.  That… is terrifyingly insightful.  It made me wonder if his brain was still ensorcelled so that he is able to dissect issues in seconds even without the amulet.   The amulet lets me crunch on this for a few seconds with ease.
“Break them down and support them with the foundation of your own experiences…” he mutters.
In moments I’ve drawn upon psychology books I’d previously flipped through but never memorized, scientific television programming, classes, online articles and draw upon my lifetime of observing my parents.  I thoroughly develop an amorphous psychological profile of my parents and start running a few simulations in my head. Yes, yes that will work perfectly.  Is this what a super computer feels like?
I have a good lie.  For them to crack it, they would have to suspect it. The alternative truth is too outlandish for any rational mind to believe. Occam’s Razor and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s memorable quote come to mind. This will work.
“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” I mutter under my breath.
The reality of going off to college is known to hit some seniors especially hard half-way through the year. Combine that with a difficult set of finals, a sudden flare-up of anxiety, and a stubborn attempt to deal with the stress without the help of anyone else; watch the situation escalate.  Having Asperger’s would make good justification for how bad it got out of hand.  It’s a bit more complicated than that though, a bit more subtle. The story needs to push all the right buttons, include the perfect combination of triggers, but not be presented in a way as to seem overly calculated. Tell it well enough, and any . . . incongruent elements can be smoothed over later. This is going to be a long, long conversation that I do not look forward to… but there will be no surprises; every possible branch it could take can be plotted out long in advance when I have more time to think on it.
I am surprised to find a half smile on my face by the end of it. Maybe it’s the exhilaration of crafting the perfect lie, or just relief at having something to reassure my parents with; either way, I’m absolutely convinced that it’s going to work.  I give Casstiel the rundown.
“That is exactly along the line or reasoning I was suggesting,” He beams at me and I feel a swell of pride in my chest.  It feels good to have the answers, even if I am getting help.
He finishes his cup and glances at the clock near the stairwell. “yeah, I guess it is getting late. Anything else you want to ask me before we turn in?”
“Ummm.”  I think for a minute, looking down and feeling the warmth of the necklace.  I pull it out and hold it up to him.  “Does this thing like… download knowledge from somewhere?  I feel like some of this stuff I couldn’t possibly know…”
He continues to smile and now it has an accompanied twinkle in his eye.
“You would be surprised how much information the brain mostly disregards as soon as it gets it.  There are spells to pull down information from the collective knowledge of mankind but the spells on that just amplify a person’s inherent potential.  It takes your mind and body and makes them better, perfects and hones them, makes them more of what they are.”


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